I do not like generalizations. In fact, it makes me angry when someone is either ignorant or arrogant enough to believe he can say, without hesitation, that a certain group of people necessarily exhibit a specific type of behavior all of the time, without fail.
That being said, all people that drive Ford Mustangs, Chevy Camaros and Pontiac Firebirds are douchebags.
Just kidding…but seriously.
I don’t know what it is, but an inordinate amount of Mustang, Camaro and Firebird owners love to smash the gas at stoplights and screech their tires. Look, I realize that you drive a fast car---I just don’t care. You can’t legally do more than 80 MPH on any road in the United States, so no one needs to the ability to drive any faster than that. Further, how fast you accelerate rarely matters since, for the instances I am complaining about, you are in bumper-to-bumper city traffic.
Dear Mustang, Camaro, and Firebird owners:
We realize what kind of car you drive. In the event we were unsure of your specific make and model, and were unable to read the insignias on the doors and bumper, you have so kindly put an enormous logo with the name of your vehicle on the top of your windshield (M-U-S-T-A-N-G). Awesome! Thanks for clearing that up. Now, I can specify exactly what kind of car when I later joke with my friends about the douchebag I saw earlier who was driving like he was in a high school parking lot (P.S. this kind of behavior was not cool in High School either---and those kids you thought were jealous of your car were really making fun of you for acting like such a hand job).
Seriously, there is no need to stomp on the gas pedal and make your engine rev really loud. It does not make you look any more cool than you already aren’t. What it will do is waste gas, wear out your tires, and endanger innocent people. And most of all, it makes you look like a ‘bag.
If you must exhibit this kind of douchebaggery, please do it on deserted roads where no one is around. This way, the rest of us are spared the danger and burning tire smell.
If you drive one of the cars listed above, please understand that no one likes or is impressed by your “Camaro Behavior.” It is beyond time that we put this nonsense to bed.
You are all very welcome.
* In order to curb some of the hate email from this week’s entry, I want to take a preemptive stand and admit that I realize not all people that drive the three models of cars listed in this blog behave as this entry explains; it’s just that those that do not are in the minority…by a lot.
-Todd
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