Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Danica 500

I am going to make this quick, because I hate car racing.  I most loathe when people try (unsuccessfully) to convince me it is a sport.


So...


When will the day come when a woman causing a crash during a car race is no longer news?


I thought we all just assumed this.


It should be news when a female driver finishes a race.


I fully expect the female drivers to bump into someone accidentally. The wreck Danica Patrick caused at the Daytona 500 this past weekend was nothing compared to the carnage she and every other woman cause on a daily basis while running errands in their respective communities.


Somehow, women make mundane drives to the grocery store look like an audition for The Bourne Identity 4.




#WomenCan'tDrive


Let's get that trending.


You're welcome,



_Todd

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Celebrity Sighting 2/17/12

Friday, after lunching in Beverly Hills I had to head back across the hill for a 4:00 meeting in Studio City.

[That sentence makes my life sound a lot more important than it really is.]

About 6 minutes into my drive up Coldwater Canyon, I realized that traffic was going to turn my 25-minute trip into 2 hours, so I headed East on Sunset toward Laurel Canyon Boulevard.  Predictably, Sunset was packed like a mother, but eventually I made my way onto LCB. 

Since I was stuck in my car for a classic Friday 4:00 West Hollywood traffic extravaganza, I had my iPod working hard.  And, because I feel like I am always listening to the same playlists over and over, this time I scrolled to "Songs," spun down to "S" and let the bitch ride.  About 5-6 songs into the Ss, I had advanced nearly 400 feet to the intersection of LCB and Hollywood Blvd.  At that time, "Seasons of Wither" by Aerosmith came on my iPod.  Full disclosure, I only keep 2 Aerosmith songs on my device.  But, since I really enjoy "Season of Wither," I decided to let it run.  45 seconds into the song, Steven Tyler blew past me (going the opposite direction) in a black Porsche Carrera GT convertible. 

Full-on irony.

I laughed for a second and then said aloud, "Fuckin' L.A."

It was wild to see him right when 1 of 2 Aerosmith possibilities was playing in my car.

And it was so clearly him.  Because he was speeding downhill in a convertible, his tinted hair extensions were blowing everywhere.  His scarf was blowing everywhere.  The blonde woman in the passenger seat's hair was blowing everywhere (in a complete stunner, she was wearing a scarf too).  There was literally shit flying every which way. 

Does anyone out there think this is as amazing and funny and ironic as I do?  Exactly zero of the friends I have told this story to so far have even bothered to look up from their phones.

At any rate, I have recently decided to write an e-book about my celebrity encounters and this story might just bat lead off.  I'll let you all know when the book drops, and I am expecting you all to buy it for you Kindles and iPads.


You're welcome,


_Todd