"'Straight Reggie Bushin'."

It’s that time of year again where they crown the Heisman Trophy recipient. Seeing as how I am the biggest College Football fan in the world, one would assume I would have some level of interest in seeing who the award goes to.

Erroneous.

I could not give less of a shat.

The Heisman Trophy blows and I will explain why.


1 – Quarterbacks always win.


Seven out of the last ten recipients have been quarterbacks and I do not see this trend ending anytime soon.

Running backs are the only other position that has a chance at the award and even they only seem to win the HT over quarterbacks when the quarterbacks nominated are underclassmen, or play in a weak/non-BCS conference.

Matt Leinert was handed a 2004 Heisman trophy that belonged to Reggie Bush. Anyone who watched even half of USC’s games in 2004 knows this. Leinert took a really nice snap. He also handed off beautifully. What Leinert did NOT do was single-handedly procure USC’s perfect season by breaking off huge runs on handoffs and pass receptions from both the running back and receiver positions, or run back numerous 4th quarter punt and kickoff returns for touchdowns and huge gains that lead to game-winning scores when the offense was struggling and USC was looking dead into the eyes of a loss. The guy that DID do that stuff was Reggie Bush.

Adrian Peterson tore up the Big 12 as a freshman at Oklahoma, but lost the trophy to his quarterback Jason White. Who? Exactly. In White’s defense, he threw for 40 touchdowns with only eight interceptions. But, why do you think the receivers were always open? The correct answer is “because A.P. had been running through 8-man fronts and gashing the opposing team with the running game all day long.” If Peterson had gone to Baylor, White would have never put up good enough numbers to win that trophy.

Now, I try not to get into the whole “such and such player won the Heisman but never got drafted, or never did anything in the NFL so he didn’t deserve the award.” College and NFL football are extremely different and the Heisman Trophy and the NFL have little correlation in my eyes (See “Charlie Ward” and “Rashaan Salaam”). Given this, I am not arguing that Peterson deserved the award over White due to the fact that Adrian Peterson is now one of the top three running backs in the NFL and Jason White is pumping gas. I am arguing that Peterson deserved the award because he was the better player in 2003.

The Heisman is a freaking joke.



2 – Underclassmen cannot win it (even when they deserve it).


Well, this part was true until last year when Florida’s Tim Tebow became the first underclassman in HT history to win this popularity contest.

How could anyone even need to think about last year’s voting? Tebow threw for 29 touchdowns and rushed for another 22 scores…IN THE SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE. He became the first “20-20” guy in the history of College Football and did so in the roughest, toughest conference in the sport. Those that did not vote for Tebow were either paid off, idiots, blind and deaf, far too loyal to the candidate that was in the running that attended his alma mater, or some combination of all these reasons.

I am still shocked that they didn’t hand 2007’s to Arkansas’ Darren McFadden simply because Tebow was a sophomore. This makes me want to believe there is hope, but there isn’t.

Michael Vick destroyed everyone, led his team to an 11-0 season and ALMOST beat Florida State by himself in the National Championship game as a 19-year old and yet lost the trophy that year to Ron Dayne.

In 1999, Michael Vick did not lose to Ron Dayne’s 1999 season. In 1999, Vick lost to Dayne’s entire body of work over his 4-year career at Wisconsin that just happened to include Dayne breaking the all-time NCAA rushing record as a senior. So, they could have either given the HT to one of the top three most dynamic freshmen in history, or to a senior running back with impressive career statistics. And…they did what they always do.

Michael Vick did NOT win the Heisman in either of his years at Virginia Tech. Really?!!!? REALLY?!!!? Someone please name me one “collegiate” that was more “outstanding” during those two years. No one? Again, exactly. Further, if you answered “Ron Dayne,” “Joe Hamilton,” “Chris Weinke,” or Josh “Heupel” you were incorrect and should slap yourself.

The Heisman is a freaking joke.



3 – No one is allowed to win the award twice.


In 2004, Matt Leinert was handed Reggie Bush’s trophy because everyone knew Bush had to stay for one more year because he was only a sophomore and needed to play through his junior season before he could leave for the NFL. And, since everyone knew Bush was a freak that could not be stopped by anything not named “Torn ACL,” the voters knew he would run away with the trophy in 2005…and we cannot possibly ever have a player win two Heisman’s while he is in college.

The old boys that vote for the Heisman seem to steadfastly stand by the rules that no underclassman will ever win the award (unless it is “Tebow Obvious”) and also that no one is ever going to win two of them again because they are still in love with Archie Griffin being the only person to ever do so. This is so sick, twisted and contrived that I cannot associate myself with it.

FYI, I blame Brent Musberger for the whole “no two-time winners…every” thing. He talks about Archie Griffin being the only two-time Heisman winner about 53 times during every game he announces (in between incessant uses of the word “folks” and oft homoerotic statements about his love affair with the quarterbacks playing in the game he is currently announcing).

They claim the Heisman Trophy goes to the “Most Outstanding Player in Collegiate Football.” In actuality, the HT goes to “the quarterback from the sexiest team still ranked in the top 3 at the end of the season---as long as that player is not a freshman or sophomore or in line to possibly collect two awards in his four years of college football.”

Michael Vick should have won two trophies. Reggie Bush should have won two as well. Between them, they ended up with one. Collectively, Chris Weinke and Eric Crouch have two. F me.

After this blog, I refuse to ever engage in conversations about the Heisman, listen to analysts engage in conversations about the Heisman, or watch the actual trophy presentation until they give me an official vote for the award and I can commence talking some sense into the other idiots that vote for the wrong players every year.

The only solution is to let me head up the Heisman committee. I will appoint a cabinet of Kirk Kerbstreit, Chris Fowler, Rece Davis, my friend Darren, my bagel guy, The Queen, The Vatican and The Rothchilds. We would quit our respective jobs, watch every single snap of every single game, conference call thrice weekly to hold everyone accountable and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion known as “The Meadows.” Then, we would come together at the end of the season and get this thing right. Until this day comes, I’m out.

The Heisman is a freaking joke. In fact, I am not even capitalizing it anymore (not that anyone is going to notice, because I am never writing about it every again). No disrespect to the trophy’s namesake, Mr. John Heisman. It’s not you John, it’s the voters.

The heisman is a freaking joke.


You’re welcome.

-Todd




In an attempt to end this thing on a happy note, I will leave you with one of my favorite videos…