One of my friends just lost his job. Apparently recessions also affect the circus industry.
Anyway…
My friend and I discussed his situation for a while, and after quite a bit of cursing, we focused in on the idea that the worst part of being unemployed is not usually that you lost your job, but the pressure and worthlessness you feel as a direct result of everyone telling you that you need to find a new job to replace the one you no longer have. Because, obviously you did not know this already.
For those that read the “Sleep” blog, you saw that I went tangential and started yapping about friends and family making their friends and family feel guilty for being unemployed.
What is it with you people?
Unemployment is rarely something that people choose, but if they did choose it more power to them. Most people who want to quit their jobs don’t, so I give ups to people who have the strength to take control of their lives and walk away from situations that are not working out for them.
For those who are asked (or told) to relinquish their positions, I would like to defend you with the following:
We all have to work 50 years of our lives at some point, so why not let people enjoy a few months off between jobs every decade or so? Geez people. When unemployed, the lucky unemployees should be donning sweatpants and basking in inactivity-not dealing with unnecessary stress from “friends” and family who are dropping serious guilt trip. Unemployees do not need the extra pressure. They already realize that they need to find work and resume earning a wage. Oh yeah, and they realized this way before you told them 274 times. You may have thought you were being constructive, but you were really just putting stress on the relationship with your “pretired” friend. This was evidenced by the 274 unnecessary arguments you caused.
Personally, I feel that when people make us feel guilty for being jobless, they are really saying “I don’t like that he is sitting at home resting. I hate my job too. I wish I could quit this crap factory and chill at home in an all-cotton jumpsuit.”
I want to turn unemployment into a cause for celebration, like winning the lottery or finalizing your divorce. If someone you know loses his job (not by choice), you should not be sweating him about his immediate plans, you should instead be planning his “Pretirement” party. The party should be so balls out (fireworks) that people are envious of your unemployed friend’s position (underage girls).
When a friend or family member calls to tell you he has been laid off, you should not be speaking in the tone that makes it sound like his dog just died. Instead, you should be using the tone similar to when he calls to tell you that he has just landed two free tickets to a sporting event and YOUR ass is going to be occupying the second seat.
Sometimes when we have jobs we get so caught up in going through the daily grind that we lose sight of our passions and goals. Unemployment can be a great time to let go, reflect, set new goals, sleep, stop ironing and get your swagger back. It amazes me that no one sees it this way. Everyone just wants to yell at you for not being miserable at a job everyday like they are. It is only partly their fault. Society conditions people to act this way.
The good news is we can turn this whole thing around. Good thing I started this blog (now, if we could just get EVERYONE in the world to read it).
Unemployment can be a good thing.
When I was unemployed, I launched a side business and began the planning stages of two others. I also traveled, hit the gym five days a week, took up yoga, began writing what will one day be the world’s funniest book and started the interweb’s dopest blog. Unemployment was awesome. I spent very little time pursuing a new job, because I was not ready to have one.
When I was ready to work again, I got a new job. My seeking employment had nothing to do with everyone telling me that I needed to do so. To that point, I was single during most of my unemployment, so apparently a man does not need a girlfriend yelling at him to find a new job in order to actually accomplish this. So, I guess that theory has been dispelled. Nope, finding another job had little to do with all of that crap and more to do with me having a working brain in my head.
Once, I had a girlfriend who was unemployed for a stretch. Everyday when I went to work, she was still asleep in my bed. When I came home for lunch, she was usually on my couch in her sweatpants. When I got home from work at the end of the day, she was usually in the exact same spot. In every movie, tv show and real-life situation in which I have seen this type of situation occur, the employed party tends to find this sort of behavior unacceptable. In my case, I could not have been more stoked that she was at home all the time. I got to see her way more than I did when she had a job. We got to laugh through lunch together almost every day of the week and she was already at my house when I got home from work every night (when your other half is as hot as my ex was, these are all good things).
Now, I could have incessantly badgered my ex-factor about finding employment, but she got enough of that each day from numerous other people that she was either friends with or related to. There was no need for me to pile on because nothing positive would have come from it. That kind of stuff would have just made her hate me as much as she hated everyone else for stating the obvious (and you never want to upset someone who is always at your house). If she asked for my opinion, it was given. Otherwise, I let her be an adult and handle her business.
Seriously, we feel awkward enough when we get those pity looks from new people we meet when we explain that we are currently in between jobs. It also sucks not being able to spend any money while serving our stretches. Since we have all of that going on, can you just stop asking us about finding a new job? Can we just enjoy sleeping in? Can we just enjoy not ironing? If nothing else, this will lead to less laundry pile up, because we can skip the whole “shower, shave and put on a suit (with tie loosened) 15 minutes before my better half gets home so it looks like I was out job hunting all day in order to prevent her inevitable speech about how I was not productive enough that day.”
Spurts of unemployment are these beautiful stretches of utopia sprinkled throughout our miserable professional lives. Stop fighting it and enjoy yourselves. I promise you will all be back working jobs you are disinterested in and underpaid for in no time. Until then, relax…and put the iron in the attic.
Anyway, I need to get off of here. I am on my way to go put in my resignation. I feel like pretiring for the Spring.
You’re welcome,
Anyway…
My friend and I discussed his situation for a while, and after quite a bit of cursing, we focused in on the idea that the worst part of being unemployed is not usually that you lost your job, but the pressure and worthlessness you feel as a direct result of everyone telling you that you need to find a new job to replace the one you no longer have. Because, obviously you did not know this already.
For those that read the “Sleep” blog, you saw that I went tangential and started yapping about friends and family making their friends and family feel guilty for being unemployed.
What is it with you people?
Unemployment is rarely something that people choose, but if they did choose it more power to them. Most people who want to quit their jobs don’t, so I give ups to people who have the strength to take control of their lives and walk away from situations that are not working out for them.
For those who are asked (or told) to relinquish their positions, I would like to defend you with the following:
We all have to work 50 years of our lives at some point, so why not let people enjoy a few months off between jobs every decade or so? Geez people. When unemployed, the lucky unemployees should be donning sweatpants and basking in inactivity-not dealing with unnecessary stress from “friends” and family who are dropping serious guilt trip. Unemployees do not need the extra pressure. They already realize that they need to find work and resume earning a wage. Oh yeah, and they realized this way before you told them 274 times. You may have thought you were being constructive, but you were really just putting stress on the relationship with your “pretired” friend. This was evidenced by the 274 unnecessary arguments you caused.
Personally, I feel that when people make us feel guilty for being jobless, they are really saying “I don’t like that he is sitting at home resting. I hate my job too. I wish I could quit this crap factory and chill at home in an all-cotton jumpsuit.”
I want to turn unemployment into a cause for celebration, like winning the lottery or finalizing your divorce. If someone you know loses his job (not by choice), you should not be sweating him about his immediate plans, you should instead be planning his “Pretirement” party. The party should be so balls out (fireworks) that people are envious of your unemployed friend’s position (underage girls).
When a friend or family member calls to tell you he has been laid off, you should not be speaking in the tone that makes it sound like his dog just died. Instead, you should be using the tone similar to when he calls to tell you that he has just landed two free tickets to a sporting event and YOUR ass is going to be occupying the second seat.
Sometimes when we have jobs we get so caught up in going through the daily grind that we lose sight of our passions and goals. Unemployment can be a great time to let go, reflect, set new goals, sleep, stop ironing and get your swagger back. It amazes me that no one sees it this way. Everyone just wants to yell at you for not being miserable at a job everyday like they are. It is only partly their fault. Society conditions people to act this way.
The good news is we can turn this whole thing around. Good thing I started this blog (now, if we could just get EVERYONE in the world to read it).
Unemployment can be a good thing.
When I was unemployed, I launched a side business and began the planning stages of two others. I also traveled, hit the gym five days a week, took up yoga, began writing what will one day be the world’s funniest book and started the interweb’s dopest blog. Unemployment was awesome. I spent very little time pursuing a new job, because I was not ready to have one.
When I was ready to work again, I got a new job. My seeking employment had nothing to do with everyone telling me that I needed to do so. To that point, I was single during most of my unemployment, so apparently a man does not need a girlfriend yelling at him to find a new job in order to actually accomplish this. So, I guess that theory has been dispelled. Nope, finding another job had little to do with all of that crap and more to do with me having a working brain in my head.
Once, I had a girlfriend who was unemployed for a stretch. Everyday when I went to work, she was still asleep in my bed. When I came home for lunch, she was usually on my couch in her sweatpants. When I got home from work at the end of the day, she was usually in the exact same spot. In every movie, tv show and real-life situation in which I have seen this type of situation occur, the employed party tends to find this sort of behavior unacceptable. In my case, I could not have been more stoked that she was at home all the time. I got to see her way more than I did when she had a job. We got to laugh through lunch together almost every day of the week and she was already at my house when I got home from work every night (when your other half is as hot as my ex was, these are all good things).
Now, I could have incessantly badgered my ex-factor about finding employment, but she got enough of that each day from numerous other people that she was either friends with or related to. There was no need for me to pile on because nothing positive would have come from it. That kind of stuff would have just made her hate me as much as she hated everyone else for stating the obvious (and you never want to upset someone who is always at your house). If she asked for my opinion, it was given. Otherwise, I let her be an adult and handle her business.
Seriously, we feel awkward enough when we get those pity looks from new people we meet when we explain that we are currently in between jobs. It also sucks not being able to spend any money while serving our stretches. Since we have all of that going on, can you just stop asking us about finding a new job? Can we just enjoy sleeping in? Can we just enjoy not ironing? If nothing else, this will lead to less laundry pile up, because we can skip the whole “shower, shave and put on a suit (with tie loosened) 15 minutes before my better half gets home so it looks like I was out job hunting all day in order to prevent her inevitable speech about how I was not productive enough that day.”
Spurts of unemployment are these beautiful stretches of utopia sprinkled throughout our miserable professional lives. Stop fighting it and enjoy yourselves. I promise you will all be back working jobs you are disinterested in and underpaid for in no time. Until then, relax…and put the iron in the attic.
Anyway, I need to get off of here. I am on my way to go put in my resignation. I feel like pretiring for the Spring.
You’re welcome,
-Todd
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