[I wrote this piece back in 2007 when I lost my job. I did not start officially blogging until months later, so this was never posted. But, since I have been on a kick about unemployment lately, all of the sudden this article became relevant again. It may not be all that funny, but it helps further drive home my thoughts and feelings about unemployment.]
I recently lost my job.
A couple of months after being removed from the workforce my girlfriend also left me. Now, I have family and friends everywhere calling me to voice their concerns.
These same people have always called me. The interesting distinction is that they used to call to say that they cared about me, but during my hiatus they are all calling to say that they are worried about me. I guess most of them have been conditioned to react this way. We have all seen an incalculable number of movies and tv shows where people lose their jobs and/or girlfriends, become depressed and often speak of suicide. The ironic part is that I was most depressed and suicidal when I was working, because I hated my job.
These days, I have everything I have ever wanted…a permanent weekend, a plasma television and no one telling me how to spend my time. Now, my days are spent doing whatever the hell my heart desires all…day…long.
Yeah, totally suicidal.
Would you call your friends during their Spring Break in Cancun and tell them that you were concerned they may be depressed? That is what this feels like. I think people just do this sort of thing because they think it is what they are supposed to do. None of these friends or relatives appears to have considered that idea that I might actually be enjoying having a little time off to relax.
Since money is tight, I am doing a lot of free things like watching tv, attending random classes at the local library, hitting the gym, and watching movies that have been on my “to see” list for a decade.
The workout part has become a huge concern for my meddlers. I guess too many of them remember the Full House episode where Candace Cameron passed out from running on a treadmill too long while attempting to get in shape by starting a workout regimen the night before her first boy/girl party (as if one could rectify 15 years of bad diet and inactivity in three short hours on a treadmill. Silly tv teenagers). The irony here is that these same people that are calling me to express their concerns would probably still be worried about me if I spent my time at home eating chicken wings, not exercising and stacking on the pounds during my involuntary vacation.
So, how exactly are you supposed to act so people do not think you are depressed and suicidal?
I cannot help but laugh.
I am completely stress-free, happy, fulfilled and in the best physical shape I have been in since my days on the high school basketball team and yet, everyone is scared that I have gone to the bad place.
It is great to know that I have people that care about me, but this is hilarious. These friends and family members need to save their concerned phone calls for the next time I find employment and spend every day banging my head against my desk wondering why I ever took that miserable job.
Hey (insert friend or relative’s name here), call me tonight when you get home from your job that you hate; I’ll be at home with my feet up watching “The Godfather” for the 234th time.
I recently lost my job.
A couple of months after being removed from the workforce my girlfriend also left me. Now, I have family and friends everywhere calling me to voice their concerns.
These same people have always called me. The interesting distinction is that they used to call to say that they cared about me, but during my hiatus they are all calling to say that they are worried about me. I guess most of them have been conditioned to react this way. We have all seen an incalculable number of movies and tv shows where people lose their jobs and/or girlfriends, become depressed and often speak of suicide. The ironic part is that I was most depressed and suicidal when I was working, because I hated my job.
These days, I have everything I have ever wanted…a permanent weekend, a plasma television and no one telling me how to spend my time. Now, my days are spent doing whatever the hell my heart desires all…day…long.
Yeah, totally suicidal.
Would you call your friends during their Spring Break in Cancun and tell them that you were concerned they may be depressed? That is what this feels like. I think people just do this sort of thing because they think it is what they are supposed to do. None of these friends or relatives appears to have considered that idea that I might actually be enjoying having a little time off to relax.
Since money is tight, I am doing a lot of free things like watching tv, attending random classes at the local library, hitting the gym, and watching movies that have been on my “to see” list for a decade.
The workout part has become a huge concern for my meddlers. I guess too many of them remember the Full House episode where Candace Cameron passed out from running on a treadmill too long while attempting to get in shape by starting a workout regimen the night before her first boy/girl party (as if one could rectify 15 years of bad diet and inactivity in three short hours on a treadmill. Silly tv teenagers). The irony here is that these same people that are calling me to express their concerns would probably still be worried about me if I spent my time at home eating chicken wings, not exercising and stacking on the pounds during my involuntary vacation.
So, how exactly are you supposed to act so people do not think you are depressed and suicidal?
I cannot help but laugh.
I am completely stress-free, happy, fulfilled and in the best physical shape I have been in since my days on the high school basketball team and yet, everyone is scared that I have gone to the bad place.
It is great to know that I have people that care about me, but this is hilarious. These friends and family members need to save their concerned phone calls for the next time I find employment and spend every day banging my head against my desk wondering why I ever took that miserable job.
Hey (insert friend or relative’s name here), call me tonight when you get home from your job that you hate; I’ll be at home with my feet up watching “The Godfather” for the 234th time.
Living the dream,
-Todd
2 comments:
I still can't believe how productive you were when you were unemployed. Every day you were at a new gym class, library training or bike ride. Now you're back on the couch.
yep, i know that this blog was written about people like me & i just don't mind to admit it. i can only speak for myself by saying that if i were unemployed i would be on the edge simply because i'm not much of a saver...you are. that being said, almost 100% of us out here don't seem to look at the world in the same way you do. TGFYB - "Thank God For Your Blog!"
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