Duck.

A few posts ago, I let ay-body know that I got an iPhone. So far, I am pretty pleased with it. The only thing that really bothers me is that the texting sucks extremely hard. My fingers are too big for the small buttons so I always press the character to the right or left of which I intended.

In addition, iPhone has a very irritating spell correction that never seems to help me in any sort of way. Many of my friends also have iPhones. These friends of mine tell me that the most infuriating thing about iPhone’s spell correction (in their minds) is the fact that it will do all it can to keep users from spelling the “F” word. They tell me that every time they punch the “K” button to complete that special word, iPhone drops the “F” at the front and sneaks a “D” into its place. A lot of my friends like to curse, especially via text message, so this causes a lot of hiccups in our wireless communications.

These days, my friends are sending me a lot of text messages that contain phrases such as the following:



“Duck you.”

“Duck me.”

“Duck that.”

“Duck that ish.”

“You have got to be ducking kidding me.”

“You have got to be ducking ducking me.”

“We’re totally ducked.”

“I got really ducked up last night. I mean seriously, I went straight Lindsay Lohan in the club.”

“Duck those motherduckers.”

“Duck you you ducking duck.”

“Holy duck.”

“For duck’s sake.”

“Jesus ducking Christ.”

“Jesus ducking duck.”

“Jesus duck.”

“I swear to duck.”

“Go duck yourself.”

“Thank duck.”

"WTD?" (I just made this one up)



Luckily, I have been friends with these degenerates for a long time, and am extraordinarily intelligent, so I am generally able to crack these encoded compositions.

And once again, it is my friends sending these dastardly text messages, not myself.

At all.

Ever.



Dou’re Delcome,


-Dodd